Earthquake Strikes Hollywood
Thousands of Actors flee



Thousands of actors were seen running from casting offices and hundreds were injured as a giant tremor rocked the Hollywood area Wednesday morning. Neither  producers, agents, studio chiefs, nor even the movie extras were spared from the force of the 6.8-magnitude quake. As Senior Investigative SAG union officials survey the damage, leaked reports suggest that as many as 10,000 hot drinks were spilled - many causing injury. 
Survivors' statements:
  • Britney: "My latte was everywhere! I always order a Grande, but after the earthquake I was left with only a Tall."
  • Rocky: "I had just collected my double tall non-fat decaf Caramel Macchiato when the terror struck. Running for the door, I practically slipped on a hastily discarded ISSUE OF BACKSTAGE WEST. What good fortune, for in it I found a GREAT PART IN A MOVIE AND IMMEDIATELY SENT MY HEAD SHOTS TO THE CASTING OFFICE FROM MY LAPTOP. 

  • Chad:
    "Like, you're not going to believe this. Only yesterday my soy Chai leaves were, like, totally predicting this quake. In fact, today I ordered a Grande in a Venti cup because I was so, like, worried about spillage."



Los Angeles Police distribute free bagels and espresso shots to shaken survivors